Is shopping addictive?

Meldwyn,
Is shopping addictive? I’m really worried because my brother said I was a shopaholic and it freaked me out! So, I went to the mall to see if I could find a book about it. I couldn’t, but I did find a really cute top and some awesome shoes on sale :). My brother laughed sooo hard when I got home even though I know I looked totally hot in my new stuff. Do I need help like my brother says, or is he just a dork?

Outy-

Clarissa Dimwitski



Clarissa,

One person’s shallow, materialist is another’s young patriot. Why our very own Commander in Chief directed all good Americans to go shopping after 911 to keep America strong. How could this be wrong?

There is however, a fine line that distinquishes the credit card toting freedom fighter from a merch junkie with a serious jones. I might suggest a check list to help you determine if you are indeed a shopaholic and need professional help. If you answer yes to 3 or more of the following questions, you may need to begin shopping for a therapist, or, perhaps a shock collar.

1. Does a Vegas-style greeter meet you at the doors of your local mall offering comlimentary lattes and the sevices of a bag sherpa on the house?

2. Do neon lighting and loud colors make you feel warm and happy all over?

3. Are you on a first name basis with the operators at the Shopping Channel?

4. Do you have more cheesy trinkets than great memories or photos from your vacations?

5. Does your pulse rise noticeably when passing even big box stores that peddle only cheap, imported, plastic crap?

6. Was the last magazine you read actually a catalog?

7. Is the high of buying a new outfit followed by a listless low from the mundane exercise of actually wearing the new outfit?

8. Do you fantasize about being a Victoria’s Secret model and having the love child of that hotie in the latest Abercrombie & Fitch ad?

9. Does the smell of the food from the local mall’s food court actually make you hungry?

10. Do you think the term,”To die for”, means that you would kill anyone who tries to snag the last pair of those incredible red pumps you’ve had your eye on at the Macy’s year end sale before you?


By the way, your brother may be right and a dork. These things are not mutually exclusive.

MC